Crashing splashes, oozing squishes, crackling smashes and crunching smishes.

Whatever the accident, you've got a mess. But a stain doesn't have to become permanent if you know the drill:

—Whatever you plan on doing to prevent a permanent stain, do it quickly. The longer you wait the less chance you will have of removing the stain.

—Always start with the least toxic cleaning method, when you have the alternative.

—Test the area to be cleaned. You may be applying a solvent that will damage the item being cleaned.

—Often, hot is bad. Hot air, hot water and heated chemicals can actually set a stain rather than remove it. Stay cool unless a cleaning procedure specifically calls for heat.

SIMPLE STAIN CLEANERS:

Cold Water (Least Toxic)

Carbonated water also works well.

Use on: acid, ammonia, blood cement glue, cosmetic, crayon, dyes, food stains, furniture polish, grease, ink, medicine, milk, mud, oil, paint, soft drinks and vomit.

White Vinegar Formula (Not Very Toxic)

½ cup vinegar, ½ cup water

Use On: alcohol, ammonia, blood, coffee, tea, cosmetics, crayon dyes, food stains, furniture polish, ink medicine, milk, soft drinks and vomit.

Ammonia Formula (Slightly Toxic)

2 tbsp ammonia, 1 cup water

Use On: acid, alcohol, blood, cement, glue, cosmetics, crayon, dyes, food stains, furniture polish, ink, medicine, oil, paint, soft drinks and vomit.

STAIN 101:

General Cleaning

Soak the item in a gallon of warm water with a tablespoon of liquid dishwashing detergent and a quarter teaspoon of ammonia for a couple of hours. Rinse in fresh water and wash normally using bleach. CAUTION: Do not use detergent that contains bleach when adding ammonia. Bleach and ammonia combine to create a deadly chemical.

Wine and Other Alcoholic Beverages

Sprinkle the area with table salt—lots of it. Scrub the item in a bath of cold water until the stain disappears and then launder normally.

Baby Formula

Use water and MSG (meat tenderizer) and mix up a poultice. Cover the area and leave it overnight. Then wash normally.

Beer

Use a half-cup of ammonia or vinegar in three quarts of warm soapy water. Hand wash.

Grease

Earlier we mentioned that "hot" stuff will often set a stain. However, there are occasions when hot is good. For example: Cooking grease, butter and other fats are liquefied and removed easily with boiling hot water. Keep in mind that non-washable fabrics should never be soaked in water, hot or cold.

Lipstick and Ink

Lacquered hair spray is a super pre-treatment for ink and lipstick. Spray it on as a pre-wash.

Any Stain on Marble and Granite

Use half a grapefruit dipped in salt. Rub the area clean and then immediately flush thoroughly with fresh water and towel dry.