It was Friday and I was working the vise squad with my partner Detective Frank Furter. I am Joe Saturday weekend cop. We are on our way to investigate a 10-20, tool abuse -- not a pretty picture. "Open up -- vise squad! Report says you got a new vise on your workbench. It is installed wrong. The fixed jaw should stick out over the edge so you can hold stuff vertically and horizontally. Only an amateur would let the handle slip back and forth so the ball ends pinch fingers. Instead twist a rubber band around the handle, a few inches from each end keeps it from sliding all the way up. Use stuff like wood and carpet scraps and old leather belts to avoid teeth marks. It's forensic science. You can put a c-clamp in your vise, too, to hold smaller work. Remember: ignorance is no excuse. Tool abuse is a crime." And that's the On The House tip for today.